I’m back!  It’s been a rocky few years – Covid, politics, the aging process without hormones, undirected retirement. I could go on, but you get the idea.  I’ve been busy sorting out life, my beliefs and my future.  I’ve been doing what you’ve probably been doing, asking questions, reading, trying different things, crying, picking myself up, dusting myself off and moving forward.  Yesterday I felt like a light finally went on, and you won’t believe where I was when it happened – trying on bathing suits. 

It’s that time of year when what’s left of the bathing suit collection is at least 50% off, so why not see if I can find something new?  As I am 10 pound heavier than I was last year, and all kinds of bloaty, this experience was not a happy one.  As I sadly redressed, I thought about cutting my food intake in half and adding more aerobic workout to my schedule.  The voice in my head said, “NO! Quit trying to starve me.  Spend more time working on a vegetarian diet.”  Bam! I heard that loud and clear. Then I got to thinking that I had been enjoying life in this body for the last few months. I’ve been sleeping well, waking up feeling well rested and had the energy to do the things I wanted to do.  It’s only when I look in the mirror that I feel bad. My body is happy, guess it’s time I am too.

Before I went to bed, I wrote a statement for my body.

I like this body.  I like how I feel in this body.  I sleep well. I move easily.  I can do the activities I like to do without pain. I have plenty of energy.  I like how I feel in this body.

Lest you think I’m giving up and planning on blobbing out, NOT. I like the way my body feels when I work out.  I like the feeling of satisfaction I get when I push out that last rep or am able to run a bit longer. After a good workout I may be one sweaty mess, but I walk with a bit of a swagger.  What’s new is not losing that swagger when I look in the mirror. I work out hard every other day and the other days I do fun things like riding a bike, walking, and swimming, just because I want to, not because “I have to get some exercise.”

I’m beginning day three of this new mindset.  I’m enjoying feeling good. This is a new experience for me and it’s nice. Stay tuned!