Most people can tell you all about the things they DON’T want in their lives. They obsess about them and make all kinds of plans to avoid all of the “bad” things that might happen. But ask them, “What DO you want?” and see if they get much further than saying “A million dollars.”

If you’re having problems identifying what you REALLY want here’s a place to begin.

Think of someone or a few someones who have what you want. No, this is not an act of jealousy; this is an act of “I like THAT!” Don’t worry if that person or persons have a few things you don’t want, just focus on what you do want. Here’s an example.

When I was a beginning teacher I had a friend who was a little older than I. She was always happy, kind and inclusive. She was always pulled together and ready for anything. I thought, “I want to be like her.” Even as our paths went separate ways I continued to think about ways I could be more like Toni. I started to think of myself as kind and considerate. I learned to do the happy dance on a regular basis and paid attention to how I organized my life so that I could be ready for the opportunities that entered my life. I’ve come to realize that I’ve done a pretty good job of making those habits my own. I’m not just like Toni, but the parts of her that inspired me are.